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Choosing Your Cancer Caregiver & Tips for Cancer Caregivers Part of a Series from "Positive Attitudes,
Affirmations & Actions to Help Survive Your Cancer Experience"
Battling Cancer is an
individual journey that takes all of heaven and earth to combat. Choose your
caregivers well!!:
Your Caregiver walks a
fine line between reality, support cheerleader, hand holder, master
"hugger" and "inspiration machine", and friend, who must give that
medicine, drives you to treatment, and fusses at you to keep you on
track for your healing journey.
Your Cancer caregiver
is your primary filter and monitor of your visitors, both family and
friends. They should only allow POSITIVE PEOPLE!!! and ONLY people who
are emotionally nourishing for you.
YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON
IT!
They should encourage
you to be surrounded by individuals who treat as if you are living and
expect you to have a future. No "what if'ers,' no "maybe that won't
work", or "oh you poor dear", or any others who say negative things.
If ANYONE ever says to
you "before you were living with cancer, now you're dying with cancer."
Remove them from your life until they can be respectful and empathetic!
Not only are they unable to determine your death, they are also unkind
to make a remark like this.
If they say to you, "I
was just making a realistic statement so you won't be in denial and we
can address your will, funeral plans, and future provisions." FORGET
THAT justification!!!!! NO ONE who truly cares about your heart and
soul, would ever say anything like that.
Do not be so needy for
attention, that you allow yourself to be the "victim" of comments that
are TOTALLY inappropriate!! no matter how sick you are. As long as
there is breath in your body, you have the right to be treated with
respect and dignity, and as if you are going to live!!!
Family members as Caregivers:
If you have spent your
life helping others, and enabling them, it's time to stop that energy
drain. This does NOT mean that you do not love them anymore. It means
that you care enough about yourself to take care of you FIRST, so that
you can be around in the future to help them.
Non-healing: 1. "But
he's my brother and he just drinks a little too much, and he wants to
come visit"..... His energy will drain you!!! Visit with him when you
are healed!
2. At this time, YOU do NOT need to hear their problems. They
need to support you!
Friends as
Caregivers:
There are several kinds
of friends during this time in your life.
The talkers/ Takers:
They call to see how
you are, listen for a short period of time and then spend hours telling
you about their life. They ask if they can do anything for you. When you
mention that you need a ride to chemo on Thursdays, their answer is,
"I'd love to take you, but I have book club." Do not be discouraged.
This person is interested enough to call, but NOT authentic about truly
helping you or they would have taken you to chemo…….. There will be more
book clubs, this is your battle with a disease! Thank them for calling,
and get off the phone.
You are not THAT needy
to have to talk with someone who won't really be there for you!
The Doers/ Givers:
These are the friends
that pick you up, sit through, and bring you home after chemo, and
probably add fresh flowers to your home. Be thankful. They encourage
you to live with every dinner invitation, movie, or "let's go to"
invitation. GO! Do not feel like you are "putting them out", "being a
bother", or whatever. When you are well, YOU can DO for them!!!!! They
are your Earth Angels.
Being the Caregiver for
someone battling cancer, and going through cancer treatment is a job
that requires everything you can muster to handle your work and all of
your coping skills.
Advice for the
Caregiver:
1. Treat your Cancer client as if they are going to live. DO NOT
treat them as if it's just a matter of time. Always speak of
their "experience" NEVER a disease.
2. You will most likely
be caught up in the overwhelming environment of caregiving, and handling
every life and medical detail and decision.
Try to look at the
patient and all of their circumstances as if they are in a healing
situation, and in a positive manner. Don't be a Pollyanna, but try to
put a positive spin on everything that you can.
3. Although your
patient has "determination to live", that determination needs to be
rooted in positive. Positive energy raises their body's physical energy
frequency which fights their disease.
4. Creating a positive
uplifting environment:
a. Dress in happy colors.
b. Help create a environmentally pleasant and visually happy care
area. Little touches mean a lot!
c. Only allow
positive people around your patient. EXPLAIN why the negative folks
need to stay away, and help keep them away.
d. Be very
conscious of how YOUR energy can effect the "patient."
If you view the patient in a "sick" condition, you are sending negative
energy their way!
If you have a negative attitude, or irritable responses, you generate
negative energy which lowers your patient's physical body frequency and
DOES NOT help heal the disease. Your energy field will affect your
patient.
e. Keep your energy field clean. Your patient is like a sponge and
absorbs and interacts with all the energy surrounding them and that they
are exposed to.
5. Contributing Life force energy thru Love:
On numerous
occasions, family and friends have asked how they can contribute
positive energy to the "patient." [An educational note: The hand that
you write with is your energy sending hand. The other hand is your
energy input receiving hand.] So follow the directions below according
to whether you are right or left handed.
Take your left
receiving hand and place it on your heart, and take your right sending
hand to hold the patient's left hand (receiving hand). Then say to the
patient, "I send you the love from my Heart and it's healing life force
energy to use as you so choose."
You then become an
"energizer" bunny for the patient thru your love for them.
Disclaimer: Brent Atwater is not a medical doctor or associated with any
branch of medicine. Brent works in Integrative Medicine (CAM). She
offers her opinions based on her intuition, and her personal energy
healing work, which is not a substitute for medical procedures or
treatments. Always consult a physician or trained health care
professional concerning any medical problem or condition before
undertaking any diet, health related or lifestyle change programs. There
are no guarantees with the Energy work.
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